For the first time in the history of “Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider,” there will not be a new show up on Friday. Eric D. Snider is in Sundance (yes, another film festival), and his computer broke, or he broke it. One or the other. This goes to prove you shouldn’t put your faith, especially your technology faith, in a guy willing to wear this hat.

While Eric isn’t looking, allow me to pimp.

You can listen to me, Jeff Bayer, on “The Bob Miller Show” for my 10-minute segment. It’s better than nothing, right? Just jump to 7:30 on the audio player.

0:00-3:05 – Introduction; Bayer’s knee
3:05-14:55 – “Red Tails” review
14:55-24:40 – “Haywire” review
24:41-26:45 – “Underworld: Awakening” non-review
26:45-36:35 – QOTW (which actress would you like to see beat up which actor)
36:35-45:40 – “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” director
45:40-53:35 – Character Casserole (Eddie Murphy from “Daddy Daycare,” Melissa McCarthy from “Bridesmaids,” and the frog from “Princess and the Frog”)
53:35-55:50 – Wrap-up and goodbyes

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0:00-5:35 – Introduction; Bayer’s vacation
5:35-14:40 – “Joyful Noise” review
14:40-27:20 – QOTW (your best celebrity encounter story)
27:20-40:45 – Bayer’s adventures at the Critics’ Choice Movie Awards
40:45-42:30 – Next week’s QOTW
42:30-49:05 – Interquel (“Rise of the Planet of the Apes” and “Up in the Air”)
49:05-52:15 – Discussions of James Franco, Michael Fassbender, Ron Perlman, Steven Spielberg, Elijah Wood
52:15-53:40 – Wrap-up and goodbyes

Your QOTW for next time: Which actress would you like to see beat up which actor in a movie?

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Introduction, we’re doing the art-house stuff, covering a few stragglers from the end of 2011 – 0:00
“The Artist” review – 4:00
“The Iron Lady” review – 14:25
“My Week with Marilyn” review – 23:35
“Carnage” review – 32:30
“A Dangerous Method” – 41:05
QOTW (your two most anticipated movies of 2012) – 46:40
Next week’s QOTW, including a fanciful tale about Johnny Depp – 57:35
“The Devil Inside” – 1:00:05
Wrap-up and goodbyes – 1:04:35

Your QOTW for next time: What is your greatest celebrity encounter?

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Introduction, explanation of what a “list” is, and so forth – 0:00
The best movies of 2011 – 4:40
Tangent about the relativity of “worst” movies, and Entertainment Weekly – 42:50
The worst movies of 2011 – 45:10
QOTW (your defining movie moment in 2011) – 48:20
Random facts about 2011 movies – 58:30
Thanks to (and gentle mockery of) this week’s lunch sponsor – 1:03:05
Wrap-up and goodbyes – 1:04:35

Your QOTW for next time: What are your TWO (no more, no less!) most anticipated movies of 2012?

Jeff Bayer’s top 10 list:
1. “Hugo”
2. “Beginners”
3. “Drive”
4. “Young Adult”
5. “The Tree of Life”
6. “50/50″
7. “Rango”
8. “The Muppets”
9. “Win Win”
10. “Martha Marcy May Marlene”

Eric D. Snider’s top 10 list:
1. “Drive”
2. “Bellflower”
3. “The Tree of Life”
4. “50/50″
5. “Rango”
6. “We Need to Talk About Kevin”
7. “Winnie the Pooh”
8. “Rubber”
9. “Like Crazy”
10. “Martha Marcy May Marlene”

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Introduction, with talk of expectations vs. realities, related to holidays and movies – 0:00
“We Bought a Zoo” review – 5:15
“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” review – 14:50
QOTW (most awkward movie-watching experience with family) – 23:40
“The Adventures of Tintin” review – 34:40
“War Horse” review – 42:35
Pitch Me (Tom Cruise, Sissy Spacek, biopic ghost comedy) – 51:40
Lunch sponsorship, Christmas plans, etc. – 57:15
Wrap-up and goodbyes – 1:01:00

Your QOTW for next time: What is the defining movie moment of 2011 for you?

NOTES: Here are the links to Snider’s written reviews of “We Bought a Zoo,” “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” “The Adventures of Tintin,” and “War Horse.”

Here is the link to Bayer’s written review of “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.”

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Introduction, blathering, nonsense – 0:00
“Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol” review – 1:40
QOTW (actors who should be in the Running Hall of Fame with Tom Cruise) – 15:30
Discussion of next QOTW, and tangent about holidays – 20:55
“Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” review – 23:50
“Young Adult” review – 31:45
“We Need to Talk About Kevin” review – 42:15
Character Casserole (Sidney Prescott, Rango, and Merry) – 50:45
iTunes reviews – 58:30
Wrap-up and goodbyes – 59:15

Your QOTW for next time: What is the most awkward movie you’ve watched with your family (or a family member)?

NOTES: Here are the links to Snider’s written reviews of “Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol,” “Young Adult,” “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows,” and “We Need to Talk About Kevin.”

Here are the links to Bayer’s written reviews of “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” and “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol.”

Hanukkah begins at sunset on Dec. 20. Christmas begins at 12:00 a.m. on Dec. 25.

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